While I was sick, someone on YouTube asked a great question:
“How do you deal with losing interest in your major goals? (the ones that have the potential to change your life/career).”
And oh boy, was I ready to go in on this. So let’s talk about it. Of course, you can watch it here or listen below, or anywhere you listen to podcasts.
Firstly: you’re actually no more likely to impulsively quit than anyone else
I know that sounds contradictory to what you’d think about ADHD, because I mean…it’s ADHD. We’re supposed to be impulsive all the time, right?
Make no mistake: if you Google about ADHDers quitting jobs, you’ll see a number of results that definitely verify the number of people who just up and quit things. That said, there really isn’t any scientific evidence to suggest that you’re any more likely to quit for no reason than anyone else.
In fact, you can find just as many accounts of people with ADHD who don’t quit, even when they should. This isn’t so hard to believe, when you’re talking about an adult who’s been told throughout their whole life that they’re not trying hard enough or that they’re lazy. That’s the perfect origin story for a protagonist who continues to live a life they can’t stand, simply because they fear seeming irresponsible (that would be you).
So I should give up then?
Not necessarily. After all, turning away from something large, like a job or major life change, is a very nuanced thing. As always, the only person who can give you the answers you need is yourself. So you’ve got to ask that person some very important questions. Namely:
- “WHY have I lost interest?”
- “WHAT, other than quitting, would rebuild my interest in this?”
- “Is there something else that I’d rather be doing? If yes, why?”
- “Do I have the ability to do this other thing?”
- “How long have I been feeling this way?”
That last one is one that we often don’t give enough time to, because we feel overwhelm or burnout so strongly that we tend to assume its final. But if you’ve been dying to leave your job for all of two days and you’ve loved it up until then, there might be something else going on there.
Maybe you aren’t being challenged enough. Maybe you just need a vacation.
And maybe, just maybe, whatever it is isn’t a good fit for you anymore. It happens. Which brings me to my last suggestion:
Screw the shame that comes with choosing something else
I’m not sure who the first person was to spread the “pick one thing and stick with it” propaganda, but we all fell for it pretty hard, didn’t we? We were made to feel like interests couldn’t just be interests, that hobbies are only worth time if they made us money, and that our minds can’t ever change.
I’m here to tell you that’s all bullshit, and you’re fully within your rights to realize you don’t like what you’re doing anymore, sunken cost fallacy be damned.
So what can you do instead? Sure, quitting sounds nice, but maybe that isn’t in the cards, or maybe that just isn’t the route you want to take.
Then don’t.
You can find a different part of what you’re doing to focus on. For example, if you’ve been working in insurance claims for years and you don’t like it anymore, try to look into moving to insurance sales, or underwriting.
You can also add your new interests to your life as simple hobbies. If it’s not reasonable to stop running your business to climb rocks for a living, make time to go rock climbing whenever you can. If managing a car dealership isn’t your jam but music is, write music and perform it whenever you can. Look at your job as the source of funds for your hobby.
We’re not told anywhere near enough that your job doesn’t have to be your life’s love. It can simply be something you have to do so that you can do the things you like to do.
And, of course, if you can quit and you want to, do it. I mean…make sure you’re taken care of first, but if it makes sense for you, make the move and screw anyone who tells you that you shouldn’t just because it’s what you’ve been for a long time.
You aren’t a job or an interest; you are a human being, and that’s a complex thing that you should absolutely be proud of.
Want to work together? Look at your options and come see me!
