I wonder how many ADHD brains saw this title and were like “no shit, Sherlock.” I also wonder if that number is higher or lower than the people who saw the title and were ready to fight me.
But this needs to be said. And I’ll start with the most important words: I apologize.
You can watch me explain further here, or listen below, or on your favorite podcast platform.
Otherwise…I’ve got some ‘splainin to do. So let’s get into it.I started this whole thing wrong.
To be fair, I’m not horribly different from many of you out there. We all kind of go through this at some point, I think.
Basically, we start out confused about why we’re such a “mess,” why we can’t seem to force ourselves to be more like anyone else. We then get our diagnosis, and it makes sense – ADHD! That’s why I haven’t been doing everything “right.” That’s why I can’t be the awesome human being I knew I was! There are some awkward realizations in there, too, but otherwise there’s mostly an excitement because now, you can be “normal.”
Not that you expect your brain to suddenly be normal, mind you, but you expect to be able to suddenly hack your brain to be like everyone else’s.
I made that mistake, too, y’all. That’s how I know.
When I first started doing this, I was dedicated to helping other ADHDers “hack” their brains so that they could do what everyone else was doing. I told them to STOP starting everything. I told them to eliminate distractions. I told them they needed to be more organized and showed them how. Y’know…stuff we’ve all heard and seen a million times.
Here’s the thing though:
We’re not supposed to do what everyone else is doing.
We don’t tend to think this way because we live in a world that is set up for a different kind of thinking pattern as it is. When you constantly hear that you’re “supposed” to do things a certain way, it’s very hard to divorce from that outlook.
But the truth is: the way things are set up, is a way meant for only one type of mind. There are other ways of juggling projects, of pursuing interests, of thinking overall, and there are very few things that hold any type of actual morality within them. So, if your brain and your gut tell you that the best way to do something is one that’s different from how you’ve been told, perhaps that’s reason enough to follow that instinct.
I caught onto this only recently, but once I did, I couldn’t believe how few of us are being told this.
Aiight so what, exactly, does this mean?
It means that you shouldn’t necessarily be pushing yourself to be more organized, to focus on less, to talk less or act less or behave differently unless that’s what you actually want.
BUT. If your brain loves being busy in multiple different ways, if your heart doesn’t leap unless you’re surrounded by an array of multicolored pens and random pencils and god-knows-what else, then there’s a place for that. Maybe you need to figure out a way to keep that separate from the things you need to find quickly and easily, but you don’t have to necessarily wipe out that messy side simply because other people who thrive in organization say that you should.
If you’re weird, if you’re talkative, if you’re excitable, or artsy or constantly finding new ways to do things, there’s a place for you as you are, and that’s right where the hell you are now.
So if you come to me, know that I’ll help you feel more in control of your journey. I’ll help you come up with routines or processes that work for you, but I won’t ever again try to stop you from doing what feels right, even if most productivity experts tell you you’re wrong.
You aren’t a cog in a machine; you’re a multifaceted human being, and you can’t be defined by a simple set of rules. That isn’t just ADHD-specific either; that’s for everyone.
Our brains are different, but they’re no better or worse than those around us, and it’s time we realized that.
Hope I did an okay job at doing my part.
If you want to work together, I have a number of options for you, including 1:1 coaching and classes. Check out how things work and reach out by checking this page. Hope to see you soon.
